ABC
This week, Jimmy Kimmel’s given it to “speaking dick” Tucker Carlson for defending Russian despot Vladimir Putin on the eve of his invasion of Ukraine and “son of a bitch” ex-president Donald Trump for making the disaster in Ukraine all about himself.
And so, on Friday evening, he returned to his favourite punching bag: Ted Cruz.
“The Texas blobverse often called Ted Cruz took the stage at CPAC yesterday to wow the gang along with his vigorous lib owns,” provided Kimmel.
He then threw to a clip of an unhinged Cruz exclaiming, “They need to destroy you! They need to silence you! They need to subjugate you! Reply with pleasure. Snigger at them! It drives them bananas! OK, are leftists the least humorous folks on planet Earth?”
“No, I might say possibly this man is,” cracked Kimmel, earlier than throwing to a couple clips of Cruz attempting (and miserably failing) to inform jokes throughout CPAC, together with calling the Orlando setting “it’s not as good as Cancun” and a few nonsense about AOC “telling us she was murdered.”
“Oh, he’s the perfect. He’s the Final Comedian Sweating,” stated Kimmel.
The late-night host ended the monologue by studying a sequence of CPAC panel names to the gang and seeing in the event that they thought they had been actual or pretend. The names had been “The Moron in Chief,” “Hearth Fauci,” “Put Him to Mattress, Lock Her Up and Ship Her to the Border,” “Lockdowns and Mandates: Now Do You Perceive Why We Have a Second Modification,” and “Drill Dummy Drill.”
They had been all actual.
“The entire thing is mainly a masterclass for individuals who don’t have any,” stated Kimmel.